So it is with that in mind that I will share my true feelings about this crew we are a part of, no pun intended.
Riley has now been a member or the US Coast Guard for almost three years. And while I realize that in the grand scheme of things, that's a very short amount of time, but right now it feels like an eternity. And I certainly feel it is long enough to have a solid opinion.
I have a good friend who refers to the Coast Guard as her sister wife. And while it is comical, it is also frighteningly accurate. "She" and I share our man 50/50. I have his full time and undivided attention for two days, then "she" gets him the next two.
Right now, BM3 Stewart is in South Carolina for a training course to become a Boarding Officer. This means that when Riley's crew boards vessels to inspect for proper safety and fishing regulations, or immigration and drug trafficking, Riley will be the guy in charge. He was recently made the Law Enforcement Petty Officer for the station, so this training is an important one to move foreword with his new responsibilities.
Riley has excelled in the course, and has genuinely enjoyed his time "down south". And while I love knowing he is doing well, it doesn't make the sting of his absence any easier.
I struggle when Riley is gone. We jokingly refer to it as "survival mode" since I always feel like I won't make it a single day longer without him. And this time around has been no different. Sweet Mason has been SO sick and I myself had a nasty tango with the stomach flu, and I have truly felt like I can't go a minute longer without Ri. I do want to say though, that my family has made this all doable. They have helped me with Mason, and kept me company, all with a smile on their faces and for that I am indescribably thankful.
Still, there is no substitute for my Coastie. I feel a physical ache when he is gone, and I know Mase misses his dad. I look at pictures of him, I sleep on his side of the bed, I listen to his saved voicemails, I use his shampoo. I'm pathetic. Survival. Mode.
So, how do I really feel about this roller coaster Coastie Life we live?
I love it. I am so thankful for it. Yes, there have been days when I wanted out. There have been days when I wanted to call up my "sister wife" and tell her she will just have to make due without our guy today. There have been days when I am confused and frustrated with the system. There have been days when homesickness and fatigue got the better of me. There have been days that I felt there was too much being asked of us. There have been hard days. And there will be more, I have no doubt.
But there have also been so many good days. And so many people have it so much worse than we do. There have been victories and celebrations. There have been lives saved because of the work my husband does, and the sacrifices we make. There have been adventures, and risks, and memories made. We have made lifelong friends, and learned to rely on each other. I have never felt such a sense of patriotism and pride as when I watch Riley and the crew come off of the boats tired, and wet, and sore. But they're so happy. And so am I. I love being a part of this Coastie family. Even if it takes my husband away more often than I would like. It makes our family who we are.
And that's what I really think of the Coast Guard.
